Now this is going to be one heck of a ride for you my friendly readers and I sincerely apologise for not posting up everyday but I do promise I will try to do my best next year which is tomorrow. Since I do not know where you're from, if you're from the land down under ..get off this laptop now and get excited for the countdown of the New Year 2013. I'm joking, there's still another 6-7 hours to go. If you're from another part of the world and it's not yet New Years Eve, I wish you all a very Happy New Year anyway.
Twenty-twelve has got to be one of the best and worst years of my life. Since it did bring out the best and worst in me. Through the trials, struggles and challenges it's confirmed to me that it all wasn't in vain to push me down making it harder for me to get back up. No, it gave me more motivation to get back up and try again. Or better yet, start again.
Honestly, where do you start in creating a compilation of the events that tied this year together and a description of how these events made this year the year that brought out the worst and the best in an individuals life. Gotta be cautious that it doesn't sound bias and boring. It becomes really difficult to write such a post that isn't too personal but personal enough for the reader to be able to have a feel inside my shoes. Kinda sounds corpulent huh? I hope you've noticed that I tend to get off track, I never plan how I write my posts. They're all written from the top of this damsel's head.
The worst in me was brought out as I came to realisation that the worst enemy I faced was myself. We've heard it all before, many times actually, that the person that gets in the way most is yourself. The intrinsic nature of the adolescent mind is mostly interpreted as something of a complete mess. I'd like to call it a beautiful mess. It is possible to create mess into something beautiful (reference to Keri Smith books, I would like to have one for this year.)
I've battled through things that have emotionally scarred me. Things that have mutated and poisoned my mind in a way that I never thought of. I'm not going to mention these things with their stereotypic label due to the inevitable judgement that one reading will establish and in general, privacy.
It's these very things that have really made me stronger. Sorry and not sorry for being cliche. But really everyone has experienced those hardships that have just pushed you down so hard that your face is just rubbing against each grain of rubble tearing bit by bit, each skin cell. Intense, yes. Escape, yes.
The more I felt pushed down the more I needed to get up, not wanted. Needed. The more I pushed against it, the more I became stronger. And now I look back at it as load lifted.
The best in me was brought out through the ministries that I'm involved in and through the studies I took habit in. The transition from YD Relive to YD Engage was at first very reluctant in comparison to the thrilling sensation of starting my last two years of highschool at St Marys Senior High. Yeah. You can see that it really was the 'best.' It was what I went through in these two departments of my life that brought out the best in me. In battling the worst, I was able to build up the best.
Though I am the only year 12 proposed intern in the internship program in YD, it's going to be difficult in being alone. I really am alone in this when I think about it but this loneliness sprung forth initiative. I haven't been so initiative in so long that through Engage I was able to formulate that characteristic which is now reflective upon all aspects of my life. Not just youth ministry. Benefits-1 Negatives- 0.
It's been a good 3 hours now and I still haven't finished this post. But I guess this is where I'll end it. Til the next post my lovely readers.
Despedida x
