Well let me present to you another idea. See, I won't judge you if you have had multiple relationships or have given your heart so many times that you feel as if you can't give anything to the one you're truly meant to be with. We're only human and plus I have no right to judge you since I have no knowledge of you. But I do believe that we aren't meant to search.
I will warn before I continue, that I myself have not experienced falling in love, I have not been in a relationship either. Might be surprising to some since I am almost 18 years old. So ...*cricket sounds* Anyway, this is just my personal idea that could hopefully help out someone, encourage someone and/or make someone question about how they're approaching 'the one.' I'll be speaking both in a Biblical sense and a generalised sense since not everyone believes in God.
If you think deeper, why do we search for 'the one?' Is it a natural human instinct? Probably. Is it because we have a deeper sense of fulfilment that we believe can only be filled by the love and affection of someone else? Probably so too. What this search does to us is it makes us more self-centred. We search because WE want to be personally satisfied by getting something. This something I've generalised to a broad range of things like gifts, love, affection, attention .. not just sex okay. Again, I'm just presenting an idea I'm not trying to convince you to agree or think like me, I'm just wanting to spark up some food for thought.
For those who aren't exactly 'religious,' this can apply to you too:
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." -Song of Songs 2:7b (NIV)
This verse ultimately supports that searching is not how love will be 'awakened' or 'aroused.' No no no. Love is something that will be established in your heart in the right circumstance, with the right someone in the right time. Going from one person to another, yes it may engender a sense of learning but during that process you're still giving something of yourself. Take eating an apple for example. You give your apple to someone, they take a bite out of it. Without finishing the apple they give it back to you. You find someone else, you give them that same apple, they take a bite out of it and so forth .. until there's nothing but the core left. Some people are like this. Now you may think, well there's nothing left of me to give now to my 'one true love.' Oh but there is.
The thing about love is, it's not about you. It's about the other person. Just like marriage, it's not for you. It's not to make YOU feel special but more of how you can make the other person feel special. It's about giving something that more than just feelings. I believe that love is more than feelings, it's more than the butterflies in your stomach, more than holding hands and walking along the beach as the sun kisses the shore in the closing of that day (ha ..cheesy). Love is a spiritual connection, one that can bind your emotions and thoughts that switches from what you want given to you to what you want to give to the other person. I'm not getting all 'religious' on you but it's true. Love is deeper than feelings.
The thing about love is, it's not about you. It's about the other person. Just like marriage, it's not for you. It's not to make YOU feel special but more of how you can make the other person feel special. It's about giving something that more than just feelings. I believe that love is more than feelings, it's more than the butterflies in your stomach, more than holding hands and walking along the beach as the sun kisses the shore in the closing of that day (ha ..cheesy). Love is a spiritual connection, one that can bind your emotions and thoughts that switches from what you want given to you to what you want to give to the other person. I'm not getting all 'religious' on you but it's true. Love is deeper than feelings.
To experience this love, you need to stop searching. I'll reference back to my first post on this series, singlehood should be about making solidification of your identity, of who you are. Don't let 'the search' take up the valuable time you have to use to better make yourself to be all that YOU can be. Don't get me wrong, it's good to be picky and have some high standards but don't focus on finding the right person .. BE THE RIGHT PERSON. Hence relating back to "Time" in this series. Many have heard this and you will keep hearing simple because we need reminding of it. I know that I do.
Searching for someone requires a lot of time and patience and perseverance. It's all in perfect and good timing that love will come to you. As you wait, anticipate, dream and desire to meet that special someone, don't let it hinder you from all that you can be. Be prepared to sacrifice, be prepared to give more than just valentines gifts and letters because that is what love will consist of .. giving. It's about willingly giving and providing more than physical desires of the other person. So to those who are 'searching,' it's not wrong to but I do encourage you to stop searching because there's probably a good reason why you haven't found the 'one.' Maybe you're not ready as an individual to meet that person, maybe it's not the right timing for the other person OR for you, maybe you're both not ready to fall in love just yet. Don't you fret, love will come to you one day. Just sit back relax and let life take you further on a journey of continuous development of yourself.
That someday will come.
